If you have been married for any length of time, chances are you have felt a lack of love or respect from your partner. There’s some great news for you.
In fact, most marriage problems you have experienced most likely have happened to at least a hundred other couples. So take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone. My wife and I have only been married for five years this coming winter (December 17, 2015) and we have already had a lifetime worth of marriage problems (in my opinion). You might find this surprising given the fact that I write Inspirational Christian Romances, but it’s true, I’m normal just like everybody else. We’ve had our fair share of relationship problems. But through it all, we’ve always been able to get back on track because GOD is our center and we are always able to get back on track with His help.
There are a multitude of “issues” that can surface in any marriage, but I don’t think the issue is so much about “him” or “her” but instead it’s an issue of our relationship with God or lack thereof. In my book (Amongst The Flames) the story centers around a man (Cole Taylor) and his wife (Megan Taylor) and their struggles within their marriage. They were a good Christian couple by any definition, but under the surface, issues were lurking. The Taylors can be identified in many of our own lives. We see this couple in our friends, possibly co-workers and even some of us. Through Cole and Megan’s marriage problems we are able to see how God can help a marriage that seems to be doomed to end. I’m going to do my best to illustrate some key takeaways from the story that can help anyone searching for answers.
Cole was a dedicated worker bee at Fire station #9 and he loved his family more than anything in the world. The problem Cole had was that he might have felt love for his family in his heart, but he wasn’t showing it outside of bringing home a paycheck. Without a strong relationship with God, he wasn’t able to see the writing on the wall and was shocked when Megan suddenly up and left him.
Cole is the “everybody” type of guy/gal. While we might not all be obsessed with our career, we can often be blind to what is really going on with our spouses. It might be something as simple as not saying something sweet like you used to do when your wife looks nice or taking for granted the work your husband does at his job. While looking nice and going to a job seems like something minor, they are just a couple examples of how little issues that can go undetected and people can be left feeling under appreciated. These little issues can build and grow into BIG issues over time. Why? I think it’s because sometimes we long for the good ol’ days. You know, when everything was perfect.
But why? What’s changed from the old way of things being done in a relationship to now? My guess is as follows. Everything was new, exciting and full of new life. Butterflies and tingly feelings all over were just the tip of the iceberg. Spouses probably heard a lot more compliments in their courtships, such as:
“Wow… you look amazing!”
What happens to these comments… say 20 years down the line?
Those sweet serenades are nothing but a distant memory that has been replaced with cold realities, such as:
“We’re out of toilet paper, we need to grab some after the movie.”
This kind of thing happens naturally overtime, but with enough effort on our parts and prayer, we can continue to give our spouses what they need. I believe that God can help us in EVERY aspect of our life. That includes our marriages. When we live a life focused and centered on God, we are better equipped to serve our spouse. And we saw this with Cole in the story. He rediscovered his relationship with God and was able to push past the pain and turmoil by relying on God’s strength and trusting in Him.
While the story didn’t dive into great depth with Megan, she was easily identified by most readers. She was the tired, overwrought and unappreciated house wife that is far too common in today’s world. Without a healthy relationship with God, she fell to the wayside when she found herself in an unhappy marriage. Megan did what many do, even some Christians today, and began to look to the world to fix her problems. The world told Megan, just like it tells us, that if we don’t like someone anymore (spouse) we can just drop them and find someone who we do like and can make us happy.
Megan represents a growing trend I see not only in the worldly people today, but those who profess Christ as their Savior. It saddens me to see people dropping their husbands and wives time and time again because they “just aren’t happy anymore.” The reality these individuals are struggling with is the fact that no one person, spouse or anyone on this earth will never make them truly happy. Happiness is not a place you abide, it comes and goes like a nice summer breeze. Joy on the other hand is a place you can abide and rest in. That joy is found nowhere but in the Lord.
Cole and Megan have marriage problems that seem impossible to fix in their story, but that’s when God can do His greatest work. Focusing on God brings a man and woman not only closer to God in a relationship, but to each other. The pyramid below is a great example of our the relationship with God and our spouse works.
When we can rely on God first in our marriage (and every aspect of life), we can begin to see how it’s through Him we are able to find everlasting joy. While declaring Jesus as your Lord and Savior will save your soul from Hell, it is obedience and reliance on a relationship with God that will give you a blessed and joy-filled life.
If you haven’t read Cole and Megan’s story, be sure to pick up a copy on Amazon today. Go to Amazon
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